I’m Good at Sex

It’s the Relationship Parts I Can’t Do

****** I have been putting off posting this, it is a bit more vulnerable than maybe my usual. I am realizing this week, my first week back with DJDM, just how true it is and how much I really want to be better at this aspect of my life!******

I was snuggling on the couch with DJDM, wondering if we were going to have sex that night, and I really wanted to. So I made a comment, admittedly passive/aggressive, trying to determine if we were or not. His response, it seemed to me was non-committal. I started to feel insecure. If he didn’t want to have sex with me, why not? Were we still ok? When we finally did go to the bedroom and begin our romantic evening, my insecurities were so at the forefront of my mind, it ruined the vibe and instead of sex, we had a “discussion” that ended in me crying and him frustrated.

I recently spent some time with Benjamin in Germany. There was one day when all day he was distracted and a bit distant. We hadn’t had sex the night before because we were both exhausted from our travels, so I was hopeful that this would be the night. But as the evening wore on, there was nothing to indicate his interest in having sex. I started to feel insecure. Did he not want to have sex with me? I haven’t seen him in a year, and now we aren’t even touching each other? He hasn’t kissed me or…