When I realized I preferred non-monogamy as my relationship orientation, it was as big a surprise to me as it was to everyone around me. I grew up a very traditional Christian, and I had never heard the word polyamory, even after I had basically started practicing my relationships that way. But now I have a little over four-years practicing non-monogamy under my belt and I cannot imagine my life any other way.

One of the most interesting things to come from living my life being open to and/or having more than one committed romantic relationship at a time has been all the wonderful things I have learned about myself and how I have grown through the process. …

1- Not treating the process like a job

Finding someone you connect with on a deeper level is no accident. It takes work and focus. Sure you can grab a glass of wine or a nice rich whisky and sit on the porch Friday night and do some casual swiping when you’re bored, but that isn’t going to get you very many dates. It might occupy some time though and if that’s what you really want… carry on!

Dating is kind of like sales, you need to fill the funnel full of opportunities in order for even a few gems to pop out the bottom. I moved back to the US a few weeks ago and I’ve spent some concentrated time on Tinder. (I also use other apps but Tinder is the one more people are using here.) I’ve chatted with quite a few guys; real, detailed conversations, not just “Hey”- “Hey”… yet, I have only had two dates. I’ve had three dates cancel on the day of or just before too, and barely heard from those guys again, or if I do hear from them, it’s been haphazard. …

I just moved back to the United States at the end of the summer. That means new adventures and much excitement around finding a place of my own here. It also means after 6 years of traveling and not owning much more than two suitcases full of stuff, completely furnishing a 1,400 sq. ft apartment in a 300-year-old building. Mega high ceilings, hardwood floors, gorgeous period windows, and two fireplaces have my creative juices flowing!! So, to deal with all that extra creative energy, my BFF (with whom I am currently living, is my soul-mate and partner in crime, not to mention life partner) and I went furniture shopping. Now, if you’ve never been furniture shopping in the USA it is something to behold. I never knew until I traveled around the world that our “furniture warehouses” are a “thing” and very North American. …

The latest post in an ongoing series updating how my polycule has changed over time. I thought when I started this series I would have lots of exciting adventures to share with you all, but in real-life fashion, things rarely ever go the way you think they will. However, I have enjoyed my journey, and I love the way my life is working out overall. So, read on for the latest update. (See the end of this post for a link to previous updates.)

Unpopular Opinion: I Never Want to Be “One Tree”

“We had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” — Louis de Bernieres.

Frequently, current cultural romantic ideas really drive me up the wall. I just sent a tweet tonight about how the jealousy storylines in the program I am watching make me a bit crazy. Sometimes I listen to modern romantic music and just want to gag at the co-dependency and the way we treat each other like we’re children or possessions and then call it “true love.” This quote does the same thing for me. Why would I want to be “one tree” with someone? Why would I want to lose my identity to merge with someone else? What about my autonomy? Why do we think this is romantic? Now I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion for a lot of people, I mean even the Bible even tells us this is what we should do. …

Have you ever read one of those internet lists? You know the ones you read because you have a morbid curiosity and can’t stop yourself from looking? Like this one:

The 14 Craziest Objects Ever Found Inside People- https://www.ranker.com/list/the-13-craziest-objects-ever-found-inside-people/rachel-stewart

Once I read about a woman who had a sex toy of some sort stuck in her vagina for WEEKS before going to the ER because it finally started to get uncomfortable. I was very judgmental. I told all my friends. I asked how was that even possible? But now? I repent. …

Unlearning secret keeping

“We don’t tell other people what goes on in this house.” -Mom

I grew up in a house that was full of secrets and lies. I was mostly grown before I realized that keeping secrets wasn’t normal. The things that happened behind our closed doors not only shouldn’t have happened but probably would have stopped had we opened the doors and windows to our lives and told other people what was going on. Or maybe I should say, “told the right people,” but that is a whole other story. …

Living in Berlin was a transformational experience for me, and I am always trying to find a way to get back there again. I have a fantastic group of friends and a partner living there, so it still has a tight grip on my heart. But even if it didn’t, there were so many things I did and learned there that changed me and helped shape me into the woman I am right now, it will always be part of me. This post is about a few of the things I learned about being naked in public in Berlin.

Skinny Dipping

Recently, I was thinking about how much I wanted to go skinny dipping in a lake. I mean, I truly want to do that again. Feel the cold water, not only on my arms and legs but let the water swell around my private places, let my breasts bob on the water while I float on my back, nipples peeking out and dipping back under the water, teasing, feeling both the water and the breeze. …